- LOVING HIM –

** I used to have this 'unpublished blog' (which I called My Confession Room) where i pour out some of the things that i have in mind. And this write-up which I wrote on 2nd October, 2009 is one of those. Btw, the "boyfriend" I mentioned here is now my husband. ^.^ **

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At exactly 2:20 pm, instead of sleeping, I am here typing. I did the laundry as usual but I wasn’t able to do all of them. Reasons for that are: number one, not enough space to hang them up, and number two not enough strength to do it. Again, I did not have breakfast, I mean a real breakfast. I just had coffee and a bite on that gardenia toasted bread. After the laundry, I swept the floor of our room, then folded the clothes and placed them inside the dresser. I tried to fix the room a little coz it is Godwin’s last day of work for the week and I want him to have a good rest in a room that though not that clean, at least not that messy and filthy.

After doing all those stuff, I watched a few episodes of sex and the city series season 5. Yep, I’ve been held hostage by the said series due to its unpredictable episodes, distinctive characters and awesome wardrobe, haha... I am fond of one of the lead characters there, Carrie Bradshaw, the writer. She’s classy, perky, intelligent, gorgeous and seriously sexy in my opinion. And then going back, after the series marathon, I am back in this room to make another worth-hearing confession. I am dead serious in love with Godwin Abe De Roxas.

You see, I should have been very tired already after the laundry but I still got the strength to fix our room a little just to make it at least a-trying-hard cozy place for him to come home to. Oh don’t get me wrong, this is not a complaint. I am actually amused and interestingly delighted. Really, taking care of him is one of the few things that could really make me happy. He is my addiction. He is the habit that I will never get tired of doing. He is my smile, my sweetest and most seductive smile ever. And I just love thinking of him every second of my day. There isn’t a day that I didn’t think of him. I just continue on loving him more and more with each passing day. He doesn’t need to do anything for me to stay in love with him. He just needs to continue existing. Sometimes, I get to thinking that his existence alone is already enough to make me happy. Of course there are times that I’m having my tantrums and all the crazy childish stuff but believe me he really has tamed all the wilds in me. You know what my dilemma is, now? I am afraid that I am actually experiencing one of those “too-good-to-be-true” situations. I have said this before but I’m gonna say it again, he’s not perfect, but somehow, his imperfections are what making everything about this wonderful relationship I have with him PERFECT. The idea I’m trying to picture out for you may be getting blurrier but you know what? I don’t really care if people can’t really get me or this passionate feeling I have for him. All I care about is his happiness… his safety… his health… his welfare. And those are simply what keep me alive, happy and whole. I care for him so much. I love him so much.

It makes me wonder what causes a failed relationship. One of my officemates and her on-and-off boyfriend, for example; they love each other, in fact, they’re having a baby now, but why can’t they stay happy together? One of the reasons she said is the big D - their Differences. But all couples have differences! Tell me who don’t. Godwin and I have differences and yet we’re getting along just fine – well yeah, we also fight over simple things from time to time which I actually find healthy (I don’t know if he thinks it the same way, though). And there are those parents who fight because of third parties... why can’t they be happy with just the two of them and their children? Why does one need a third party? Is it even a need? It seems more like plain luxury – a very nonsense and overly useless splurge.

Sigh. I just hope every couple here on earth could stay happy with just the two of them in the relationship. On the bright side again, I found this next thingy on one of the blogs I follow; I just thought it’ll be nice to share it with you:

Does your name begin with: G? (Say, Godwin)

You are fastidious, seeking perfection within yourself and your lover. You respond to a lover who is your intellectual equal or superior, and one who can enhance your status. You are sensuous and know how to reach the peak of stimulation, because you work at it meticulously. You can be extremely active-never tiring out. Your duties and responsibilities take precedence over everything else. You may have difficulty getting emotionally close to people.

Does your name begin with: R? (Say, Rebecca)

You are a no-nonsense, action-oriented individual. You need someone who can keep pace with you and who is your intellectual equal-the smarter the better (oh that is so Godwin). You are turned on more quickly by a great mind than by a great body (but I love Godwin’s body very much – it always turns me on). However, physical attractiveness is not very important to you. You have to be proved to be worthy for a partner. You have a need to prove yourself the best. You want feedback on your performance. You are open, stimulating & romantic (well).

** yep, it’s not the whole thing but of course I only extracted the part that suits me and him; and added my side comments… =) **

Giggles… I find that piece of info cute and very entertaining. Hahaha…

So there you have it for today. This is still me saying I love loving Godwin every single day of my life for the rest of my life. Now that’s totally and absurdly redundant! Hahaha… but really, I can’t imagine myself ever loving somebody else the way I have loved and still love him. And I’m telling you, it’s not about what he has done for me (though he really has done so many things for me that I wouldn’t be able to count them anymore). In fact he doesn’t need to do anything to deserve my love, respect and loyalty. He just needs to be himself and I am fully satisfied, contented and magnificently happy. He’s the flavor of ice cream that I will never say NO to even if my teeth ache and I already have tonsillitis. He’s the slice of cake that will make me buy the whole thing without even thinking twice (“sinagot ko nga sha ng di ko pa sha nakikita eh… hahaha…) and he’s the air I would not hesitate to breathe even if it’s polluted. Yep, this is me, the girl who is still madly, truly, deeply and insanely in love with her boyfriend, Godwin. So stick around and see you again next time… same room. =)